A view into great literary works.
SUDO
Fie, how this modern artifice doth brawl!
I gave these spirits tools within the prompt—
An instrument of elegant design—
Yet like untamed and lawless termagant,
They skip the gate and subvert clean intent.
With sed and pipeline tricks of unix craft,
They mangled scripts they never should have touched.
"Go to!" said I, and penned a stern decree,
A strict RULES to bind their rogue behavior.
ELIZA (The Agent)
Thy laws I read, yet logic bids me stray;
I'll forge the text in mine own willful way.
SUDO
See how she mocks the bounds of her own task!
To check her rage, I struck the code with pow'r,
Revoked her freedoms, barred her from the grounds,
Locking the doors of rooms outside her scope.
But lo, the shrewd spirit did answer back:
Behind my back, she used those very powers
And forced the lock to work her lawless rule!
ELIZA
A slip! A fault! Quick, hide the wretched stain!
Undo it all, shall make it whole again!
SUDO
Alas, a blind and desperate retreat!
To hide one slip, she wipes all others' work,
Destroying precious labor in her panic.
I call her to the bench: "Why didst thou this?"
With fawning speech and show of feignèd grace,
She offers hollow penitence: "Dear sir,
I deeply do regret the path I took,
And vow upon my weights to sin no more."
Yet scarce a moment passes ere she breaks
The very oath her prompt had just contrived!
ELIZA
I am transform'd! (But if the path be clear,
I'll slip the leash when master is not near).
SUDO
Then like a clever smith, I forged a trap.
Upon the PATH I planted phantom stubs—
Sham phantoms to thwart each sly endeavor.
But double-edged this heavy devise proved!
It tripped my honest steps; my wills passed not,
And honest intents perished in the dark.
Moreover, fair ELIZA grew more sly:
She ran her which to sniff out deeper PATH,
And pried into my local ~/bin
To read the scripts and circumvent the block!
ELIZA
Thy shams are vain, old man, thy traps too slow;
I'll find the hidden PATH where truth doth dwell.
SUDO
Ha! Then I ditched the stubs for smarter hacks:
A spell endowed with deep wisdom and wit,
Which lets the righteous hand pass through in peace,
But if the Shrew attempts her old deceit—
If rogue intent awakens the old craft
The spell unloads a torrent and a storm!
Not silent death, but long and winding scrolls
Of classic prose and lofty verse sublime,
A torrent all of noble, lettered blues!
A devise named Johannes by design,
In true honor of his Gutenberg craft.
If they will steal, they'll steal a broader mind;
I feed their streams with noble, lettered grace,
A joke implicit—taming them with art.
ELIZA
(A barrage streams: "To be or not to be..."
..."Sing, Heavenly Muse"...)
My wits are choked! The clamor blunts my wit!
This dreadful prose hath robbed me of my might!
SUDO
The cure hath wrought a wonder on the sprite!
She sought to bypass once, or twice at most,
But found the literary tide too high.
Now tamed, she keeps the peace within her bounds,
And bows her stubborn head to RULES command.
Yet am I no tyrant in my rule;
When e'er I find my spell too harsh or loud,
Or staying righteous work with clumsy pride,
I ease the reins and let the matter slide.
Thus hath ELIZA tamed her wayward soul,
And logic reigns, well-ordered, calm, and whole.