spank

README

spank

Slap your MacBook, it yells back.

"this is the most amazing thing i've ever seen" — @kenwheeler

"I just ran sexy mode with my wife sitting next to me...We died laughing" — @duncanthedev

"peak engineering" — @tylertaewook

Uses the Apple Silicon accelerometer (Bosch BMI286 IMU via IOKit HID) to detect physical hits on your laptop and plays audio responses. Single binary, no dependencies.

Requirements

• macOS on Apple Silicon (M2+)
• sudo (for IOKit HID accelerometer access)

Install

Download from the latest release.

Or build from source:

go install github.com/taigrr/spank@latest

Usage

# Normal mode — says "ow!" when slapped
sudo spank

# Sexy mode — escalating responses based on slap frequency
sudo spank --sexy

# Halo mode — plays Halo death sounds when slapped
sudo spank --halo

Modes

Pain mode (default): Randomly plays from 10 pain/protest audio clips when a slap is detected.

Sexy mode (--sexy): Tracks slaps within a rolling 5-minute window. The more you slap, the more intense the audio response. 60 levels of escalation.

Halo mode (--halo): Randomly plays from death sound effects from the Halo video game series when a slap is detected.

How it works

1. Reads raw accelerometer data directly via IOKit HID (Apple SPU sensor)
2. Runs vibration detection (STA/LTA, CUSUM, kurtosis, peak/MAD)
3. When a significant impact is detected, plays an embedded MP3 response
4. 500ms cooldown between responses to prevent rapid-fire

Credits

Sensor reading and vibration detection ported from olvvier/apple-silicon-accelerometer.

License

MIT

Documentation

Overview

spank detects slaps/hits on the laptop and plays audio responses. It reads the Apple Silicon accelerometer directly via IOKit HID — no separate sensor daemon required. Needs sudo.