spank

README

spank

Slap your MacBook, it yells back.

"this is the most amazing thing i've ever seen" — @kenwheeler

"I just ran sexy mode with my wife sitting next to me...We died laughing" — @duncanthedev

"peak engineering" — @tylertaewook

Uses the Apple Silicon accelerometer (Bosch BMI286 IMU via IOKit HID) to detect physical hits on your laptop and plays audio responses. Single binary, no dependencies.

Requirements

• macOS on Apple Silicon (M2+)
• sudo (for IOKit HID accelerometer access)

Install

Download from the latest release.

Or build from source:

go install github.com/taigrr/spank@latest

Usage

# Normal mode — says "ow!" when slapped
sudo spank

# Sexy mode — escalating responses based on slap frequency
sudo spank --sexy

# Halo mode — plays Halo death sounds when slapped
sudo spank --halo

# Custom mode — plays your own MP3 files from a directory
sudo spank --custom /path/to/mp3s

# Adjust sensitivity with amplitude threshold (lower = more sensitive)
sudo spank --min-amplitude 0.1   # more sensitive
sudo spank --min-amplitude 0.25  # less sensitive
sudo spank --sexy --min-amplitude 0.2

Modes

Pain mode (default): Randomly plays from 10 pain/protest audio clips when a slap is detected.

Sexy mode (--sexy): Tracks slaps within a rolling 5-minute window. The more you slap, the more intense the audio response. 60 levels of escalation.

Halo mode (--halo): Randomly plays from death sound effects from the Halo video game series when a slap is detected.

Custom mode (--custom): Randomly plays MP3 files from a custom directory you specify.

Sensitivity

Control detection sensitivity with --min-amplitude (default: 0.3):

• Lower values (e.g., 0.05-0.10): Very sensitive, detects light taps
• Medium values (e.g., 0.15-0.30): Balanced sensitivity
• Higher values (e.g., 0.30-0.50): Only strong impacts trigger sounds

The value represents the minimum acceleration amplitude (in g-force) required to trigger a sound.

Running as a Service

To have spank start automatically at boot, create a launchd plist. Pick your mode:

Pain mode (default)

sudo tee /Library/LaunchDaemons/com.taigrr.spank.plist > /dev/null << 'EOF'
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<!DOCTYPE plist PUBLIC "-//Apple//DTD PLIST 1.0//EN"
  "http://www.apple.com/DTDs/PropertyList-1.0.dtd">
<plist version="1.0">
<dict>
    <key>Label</key>
    <string>com.taigrr.spank</string>
    <key>ProgramArguments</key>
    <array>
        <string>/usr/local/bin/spank</string>
    </array>
    <key>RunAtLoad</key>
    <true/>
    <key>KeepAlive</key>
    <true/>
    <key>StandardOutPath</key>
    <string>/tmp/spank.log</string>
    <key>StandardErrorPath</key>
    <string>/tmp/spank.err</string>
</dict>
</plist>
EOF

Sexy mode

sudo tee /Library/LaunchDaemons/com.taigrr.spank.plist > /dev/null << 'EOF'
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<!DOCTYPE plist PUBLIC "-//Apple//DTD PLIST 1.0//EN"
  "http://www.apple.com/DTDs/PropertyList-1.0.dtd">
<plist version="1.0">
<dict>
    <key>Label</key>
    <string>com.taigrr.spank</string>
    <key>ProgramArguments</key>
    <array>
        <string>/usr/local/bin/spank</string>
        <string>--sexy</string>
    </array>
    <key>RunAtLoad</key>
    <true/>
    <key>KeepAlive</key>
    <true/>
    <key>StandardOutPath</key>
    <string>/tmp/spank.log</string>
    <key>StandardErrorPath</key>
    <string>/tmp/spank.err</string>
</dict>
</plist>
EOF

Halo mode

sudo tee /Library/LaunchDaemons/com.taigrr.spank.plist > /dev/null << 'EOF'
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<!DOCTYPE plist PUBLIC "-//Apple//DTD PLIST 1.0//EN"
  "http://www.apple.com/DTDs/PropertyList-1.0.dtd">
<plist version="1.0">
<dict>
    <key>Label</key>
    <string>com.taigrr.spank</string>
    <key>ProgramArguments</key>
    <array>
        <string>/usr/local/bin/spank</string>
        <string>--halo</string>
    </array>
    <key>RunAtLoad</key>
    <true/>
    <key>KeepAlive</key>
    <true/>
    <key>StandardOutPath</key>
    <string>/tmp/spank.log</string>
    <key>StandardErrorPath</key>
    <string>/tmp/spank.err</string>
</dict>
</plist>
EOF

Note: Update the path to spank if you installed it elsewhere (e.g. ~/go/bin/spank).

Load and start the service:

sudo launchctl load /Library/LaunchDaemons/com.taigrr.spank.plist

Since the plist lives in /Library/LaunchDaemons and no UserName key is set, launchd runs it as root — no sudo needed.

To stop or unload:

sudo launchctl unload /Library/LaunchDaemons/com.taigrr.spank.plist

How it works

1. Reads raw accelerometer data directly via IOKit HID (Apple SPU sensor)
2. Runs vibration detection (STA/LTA, CUSUM, kurtosis, peak/MAD)
3. When a significant impact is detected, plays an embedded MP3 response
4. 750ms cooldown between responses to prevent rapid-fire

Star History

Credits

Sensor reading and vibration detection ported from olvvier/apple-silicon-accelerometer.

License

MIT

Documentation

Overview

spank detects slaps/hits on the laptop and plays audio responses. It reads the Apple Silicon accelerometer directly via IOKit HID — no separate sensor daemon required. Needs sudo.